For those of you who have a child who has recently been diagnosed with a learning disability, you already know that the road to receiving that diagnosis is long and full of many twists and turns. In order to be diagnosed with a learning disability, a student must be struggling in school and is usually not passing classes. This may mean that there is tension at home as parents get repeated reports from teachers about their child’s struggling academic performance; meanwhile, their child doesn’t actually understand why they aren’t doing better in class. Discovering that your child has a learning disability can help a parent better understand why their child has been struggling in school, but it also creates the question of, “What do I do now to help them?” While the following list is not exhaustive, it will hopefully help you begin to navigate what to do next as you continue to support your child.

Inform yourself about your child’s learning disability

It is important to know that every learning disability is unique. The more you understand your child’s specific learning disability and needs, the better you will be able to support and advocate for them. According to the Learning Disabilities Association of America (LDA), the different learning disabilities are: dyscalculia, dysgraphia, dyslexia, non-verbal learning disabilities, and oral/written language disorder/specific reading comprehension deficit. There are also the following related disorders that in and of themselves are not necessarily categorized as specific learning disabilities but impact a person’s learning process: ADHD, dyspraxia, and executive functioning disorder. A student with dyscalculia (a specific learning disability affecting someone’s math skills) will need different goals, accommodations/modifications, and support than a student who has dysgraphia which affects a student’s handwriting and fine motor skills. You will play a large role in ensuring that your child gets those supports.

Be actively engaged in your child’s learning

It won’t be enough to ask your child, “How was your day?” You will need to actively insert yourself into their learning. Have them take out their homework and show you what they’re working on - and then check that same homework once they say it’s completed so you can see if/how they understood the concepts. Whenever they take a quiz or test, review it with them so you can see what they got correct versus incorrect. Use any opportunity you can to ask your child to explain to you how they arrived at the answers that they did, not just ask them what their answer was. The more you see their thought processes, the better you will be able to understand what their strengths are and in what areas they need more support. This will be extremely useful with regards to the next item in this list.

Purposefully partner with your child’s teacher and IEP team

Once your child has been diagnosed with a learning disability, they will almost certainly be given an Individualized Education Plan (IEP). While this plan is developed by an entire team of professionals who have worked with your child, you are the most important member of that team. Yes, you need to be sure to attend every IEP meeting and parent/teacher conference, but you also need to establish and maintain frequent communication with your child’s teacher(s). A best practice suggestion would be to reach out to your child’s teacher(s) on a consistent basis to check-in on how they are doing in class. Sending a weekly email to their teacher is one of the most efficient ways to accomplish this as it will then be easy for the teacher to reply. It is important for you to communicate with your child’s teacher consistently so the teacher can determine if the current goals, accommodations, and modifications in your child’s IEP are effective, sufficient, and/or appropriate. For example, if you recognize that your child continually needs more time to complete their homework, but that isn’t already an accommodation within the IEP, then you can communicate that concern with the team to suggest that a revision be made (and yes, revisions to IEPs are definitely allowed). This leads to the next important item.

Know your rights and responsibilities and be an advocate for your child

At the beginning of the initial IEP evaluation process (the process by which your child is assessed, determined to have a learning disability, and finally given an IEP), someone should have provided to you a copy of what is called the “Procedural Safeguards.” This is a multi-page document that outlines your rights and responsibilities as the parent of a student with a disability. There are a plethora of laws and guidelines that govern special education at the federal, state and local levels. Schools are given very specific timelines to follow regarding timely completion of paperwork along with language that mandates what needs to be included in the IEP and how it is written. It can definitely be overwhelming at first. Be sure to read through the Procedural Safeguards and reach out to your child’s special education teacher or the case manager for your school with any questions you might have. Plug into whatever the district office is that oversees special education services and sign up for parent emails so that you can stay informed. For Chicago Public Schools, that office is called the Office of Diverse Learners Supports and Services (ODLSS). Most districts refer to this department as the Office for Students with Disabilities or something similar. The more you know about what your rights are and what services your child is eligible for, the better you will be able to advocate for what they need to be successful. Never is the adage, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease,” more true than in special education. Because resources are often limited, priority is often given to parents who are the most vocal about their concerns.

Be kind to yourself, build a support system and know that you are not alone

The last item on this list is one that is often overlooked by parents when they have a child with a learning disability. However, it is so necessary to make self-care a priority so that you can be your best self with your child. Many parents experience feelings of guilt when their child is first diagnosed with a learning disability, especially if your student is older when diagnosed. There can be many reasons for this guilt: from feeling that you are somehow responsible for your child’s learning disability to blaming yourself for not recognizing your child’s learning disability sooner. As a parent, you might even feel guilt or shame over how you have been responding to your child’s academic struggles before they were diagnosed. While these feelings are normal, they are not helpful nor do they help you best support your child. Instead of beating yourself up, try to find a support group or parenting group where you can share these feelings openly with others who will understand you, be able to provide encouragement, and share helpful information and resources. Also, reach out to family members and friends and let them know what is going on with your child and give them specific ways they can be helpful. Most importantly, be kind to yourself and extend the same grace to yourself as you do to your child. Some days will be better than others, but every day is a new day. Just the simple fact that you have taken the time to read this information shows that you are committed to supporting your child and that is something of which you can be proud.

About the author:

Kimberly Frey studied exceptional education and is licensed by the Illinois State Board of Education as a learning behavior specialist. She has been teaching for almost 20 years and currently works as a diverse learners resource teacher and a math extended impact teacher for Chicago Public Schools.